🖤 Some People Are Difficult. Others Are a Full-Blown Vulva Varmint.

We all know one.

The person who brings drama everywhere they go, lies like it's an Olympic sport, makes spectacularly questionable decisions, and somehow leaves everyone else wondering, “What the hell just happened?”

There is finally a name for them:

VULVA VARMINT. 😂

This hilarious dictionary-style graphic tee turns an absolutely ridiculous insult into an official-looking definition—because sometimes calling someone annoying simply isn't enough.

📖 THE DEFINITION

Vulva Varmint — noun

1. A useless, self-absorbed, lowlife creature with the personality of a wet paper towel.

2. One who spreads drama, lies and STDs faster than common sense.

3. A walking ick.

See also: trash, skid mark, dumpster fire. ❤️

It's oddly specific, wildly inappropriate, and probably describes at least one person you've met.

✨ THE DESIGN

The oversized front graphic is designed to look like a vintage dictionary entry, making people lean in to read it before realizing exactly what they're looking at.

• Bold “Vulva Varmint” headline
• Dictionary-style pronunciation
• Three hilariously brutal definitions
• Sarcastic “See also” section
• Classic black typography
• Clean monochrome design
• Large statement print
• Adult humor without needing a complicated graphic

The simple black-and-white styling makes the words the entire point of the shirt.

And they're definitely going to get attention.

😂 MADE FOR PEOPLE WITH QUESTIONABLE SENSES OF HUMOR

This isn't the shirt for someone who likes their humor sweet and wholesome.

It's for the sarcastic friend.

The brutally honest sister.

The coworker who sends inappropriate memes.

The woman who has officially run out of patience.

Or anyone who appreciates discovering completely unnecessary new insults.

Once “Vulva Varmint” enters your vocabulary, there's really no going back.

👕 SHIRT DETAILS

Comfortable enough for everyday wear and ridiculous enough to become your new conversation starter.

• Soft, comfortable shirt
• Classic unisex fit
• Short sleeves
• Crew neckline
• Large front graphic
• Professionally applied design
• Easy to pair with jeans, shorts or leggings
• Great casual statement tee

Please refer to the size chart before ordering for your preferred fit.

🎁 THE PERFECTLY INAPPROPRIATE GIFT

Shopping for someone who already has everything?

Give them a new insult.

This shirt makes a hilarious choice for:

• Birthday gifts
• Best friend gifts
• Sister gifts
• White elephant exchanges
• Girls' trips
• Bachelorette weekends
• Divorce parties
• Gag gifts
• Adult Christmas exchanges
• Sarcastic coworkers
• Friends who appreciate completely unhinged humor

It also works beautifully as a gift for yourself after encountering an actual Vulva Varmint in the wild. 😂

🇺🇸 FROM PEASLEE'S CUSTOM DESIGNS

We're a veteran-owned small business creating designs with personality—from meaningful pieces to shirts that are completely inappropriate and impossible to explain to your grandmother.

This one definitely belongs in the second category.